Having boundaries in all of your relationship is important so that you can have happy and fulfilling relationship.
No matter what happens, having boundaries will help you to build relationships that are healthy and will help you to have real relationships.
Boundaries help you to be able to see people for who they are, it helps you to not have to be responsible for other people’s behaviors, it helps you to see your worth and it helps you to have self-control.
You will become more confident because you:
- Set limits.
- Do not let toxic people rule you.
- Walk away from things that cross the line.
You have to have non-negotiable boundaries so that you can trust yourself when you know someone is not right for you or when someone is making you uncomfortable. It also helps you to be able to walk away when you need to.
Limits can be hard, especially if you didn’t have them when you were young but if you are smart and courageous, you will see that limits will help you.
Boundaries
Personal boundaries are important because it helps you to make people respect you and treat you right.
Boundaries will help you to be more aware and to love yourself more and to have value in what you believe in and who you are.
Boundaries help you to set your own limits and will not make you feel guilty if you have to say no to someone. This will help you to show people that they cannot take advantage of you and that your boundaries are there no matter who the other person is.
Having solid boundaries means that you have a strong backbone and that you are not afraid of making people treat you a certain way.
You cannot control how people treat you, but you can control if you stay or if you go. Boundaries help you to have comfort.
Emotional Vampires
Having boundaries is something that emotional vampires hate. It teaches people to treat you correctly and it causes you to have structure.
This means that toxic people cannot come into you and make you feel a certain way because you are going to have boundaries no matter who they are. They cannot scare you or cause you to lose your self-respect.
Some people will think your boundaries are wrong and will think it is a red flag, but toxic people need to see that they cannot cross your personal boundaries. This will allow you to be in relationships where you aren’t clingy or overbearing.
Having good boundaries will cause you to always be open to what is going on and not hiding things in your own self.
We all know what it feels like to be aware that we are being mistreated. We could control these things, but we have chosen in the past not to and this caused us to lose self-respect.
Why Are Personal Boundaries Necessary?
- They help you to be sane.
- You will not sabotage yourself.
- You will have less doubt.
- You will not act out of fear.
- You will not lose your power.
- People will not be able to use you.
People that have no boundaries have no self-esteem. Self-esteem is your values and if you know that you aren’t doing what you should be doing, you will feel bad about who you are.
Your moral code is part of who you are, and it helps you to live a good life.
Setting Boundaries
It isn’t always easy to know how to set boundaries and many people learn from their childhood on what boundaries are. If they didn’t have boundaries as children, it might be hard for them to set boundaries as adults.
Maybe childhood taught you to lie or to act a certain way out of fear but if you grow up and you learn to set boundaries, you will see that this will help you to live a better life.
Here are reasons that you have let boundaries go in the past:
- You wanted to fit in.
- You wanted people to like you.
- You wanted people to only know a little about you.
- You wanted people to choose you.
- You wanted people to think you were enough.
Wanting to be accepted can cause you to not show who you are and to feel embarrassed if people know the real you.
Relationships and Boundaries
It is important that you respect boundaries and that people respect you. You have to learn to make people regard your boundaries as important and take action against people using you.
Using boundaries will help you to not be rejected or forgotten from people in your life.
Setting boundaries is for yourself and for those around you to protect you and to keep you safe. This will help you to know your true self and to stop people from hurting you.
Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are not hard to set. Do not be afraid of setting boundaries and realize how important they are. Talk about what you want and make sure that the people that you are with are the ones that need to follow your boundaries.
Learn to explain your boundaries and not to justify them. You don’t have to tell people why you set boundaries because they are direct, and they just are what they are. Take action when your boundaries are crossed and have a healthy idea of what your boundaries are there for and what to do when people don’t respect them.
Lacking Boundaries
Here are some signs you lack boundaries in your life:
- You don’t stand up for yourself.
- You care too much about what others think of you.
- You attract people that want to control you.
- You share too much detail about your life.
- You are clingy and needy.
- You have a hard time saying no.
- You don’t want to be in drama.
- You always feel that you have to defend yourself.
- You are passive aggressive.
- You have toxic relationships.
- You are always the one used in the relationship.
- You are codependent.
- You are a victim.
- When people aren’t happy you do what you can to make them feel better.
- You feel that people are better than you.
- You are always motivational and care about other people.
- People use you for your kindness.
- You want to be everyone’s best friend.
- You gossip even though you say you hate it.
- You get invested fast in people you don’t know.
- You put up with anything people do to you.
- You are possessive when it comes to relationships.
How to Set Good Boundaries
When you lack boundaries, you do not have the courage to say no and to do your own thing. You are the person that decides what you want to give to others, and you are the one that can bring freedom into your own life.
You have to have self-control and you have to learn to allow people to feed into you without you always being the one to make the move.
Healthy boundaries keep you safe. They help you to have self-respect and they help you to respect others as well.
When you have no boundaries, it will lead you to an abusive or toxic relationship and make you codependent on people.
Healthy Boundaries:
- Trusting others as time goes on.
- Communicating what you want.
- Knowing your needs.
- Respecting yourself.
- Knowing who you are.
- Feeling good just the way that you are.
- Being responsible for your own happiness.
- Having strong values.
- Having good relationships outside of your romantic relationships.
- Trusting your gut feelings.
Unhealthy Boundaries:
- Trusting everyone or no one.
- Playing games.
- Letting people manipulate you.
- Not showing people who you are.
- Wanting someone to make you feel whole.
- Always thinking others will make you happy.
- Compromising your values.
- Being codependent.
- Relying on beliefs of others to be validated.
Healthy Personal Boundaries
Here is what it is like to have healthy personal boundaries:
- You are enough.
- You keep your mental health strong.
- You respond in a good way.
- You don’t have to worry about comforting others.
- It isn’t your job to make people love you.
- You are enough without trying to control others.
- Feeling criticized doesn’t make you upset.
- Saying no feels good.
- You are comforted when your boundaries are strong.
- You know that not everyone is going to like you.
- It is okay if people are good or bad, you will let who you want in.
- Red flags do not mean you have to try harder.
Feeling Guilty Over Boundaries
If someone hates that you set boundaries, let them go. You need these to be healthy and strong.
A person who has healthy boundaries will not be upset with you having your own boundaries. If you struggle with your self-esteem, you need to set stronger boundaries without feeling guilty.
A toxic person will make you feel that you are being selfish by setting boundaries but do not give into them. Do this and do it right.