What Happens When You Resent Your Partner in Marriage?

When there are two people that decide to be in a relationship with each other, they always have exciting thoughts and expectations. They want things to be happy and they look at things through lenses that make everything look great.

Everyone knows that these feelings will not last forever and with some couples, their relationship is slowly ending. Sometimes there are different reasons for this, and you sometimes wonder what is happening?

Most of the time, what is happening is that you are becoming resentful. Being resentful in your marriage can make you stop loving each other.


Resentment happens when someone has disappointed you or hurt you. It is an emotion that is negative and will grow as time goes on, unless it is fixed.

When you are resentful and it keeps growing, you will have a hard time being compassionate with your partner and you will not be able to show them love. This happens because you feel that you are being neglected and mistreated.

Some of the most toxic things that can happen in a marriage have to do with being resentful.

What Causes People to Have Resentment?

There are different reasons that people are resentful in their marriage. This can happen when the partner feels that they are being all about the other person, but they are not getting that in return.

When this is not taken care of, it can cause you to be angry at your partner.

Other Reasons for Resentment

Another reason to be resentful in a relationship is when the spouse or partner always has to be right.  When this happens, it is almost impossible to talk things through.


When one partner in the relationship is only meeting their needs and not the needs of the partner, it can cause resentment. Everyone should be taken care of.


People that do not care for their marriages will not work hard to make them work. This can cause them to be neglectful to their partner.


People never need to be treated badly but if you are in a marriage where there is emotional or physical abuse, you need to move on right away.


When your partner does not care about your feelings, it means they are being selfish. You must pay attention to what your partner is feeling and stop ignoring them.


Your partner should never cheat on you or leave you. When they betray you, it causes there to be resentment and pain in the relationship. This can cause the marriage to not make it.

How Does Resentment Hurt the Relationship?

As people become more resentful, it can cause them to leave the relationship. One or both of the partners will start to step away and they will become distant. This means there is no intimacy happening and instead of being closer, they are moving apart.

Resentment can also cause arguing. Fighting is normal but when it is happening all the time, this can cause resentment to keep building. Learn to figure out how to stop fighting.

Another thing that can happen with resentment is that it can lead to abuse. These things can all hurt your relationship.

Signs of Resentment

All marriages are different and people that are resentful of each other have a hard time getting along. There are some things that any relationship can work through, but you have to know the signs, especially when there is resentment:

  • Sex live goes down.
  • You have intensity and quietness.
  • You are passive-aggressive.
  • You are talking about splitting up.
  • You feel like you just live together and aren’t a couple.
  • You don’t do things together.

Stopping Resentment

It is never easy to get over resentment when you are in a marriage. Both people have to learn to be committed to each other.

There are ways you can get rid of your resentment, but you have to work hard:

Hiding Feelings

You must learn to acknowledge what you are feeling and talk to your partner about it. If you stop expressing what is going on inside of you, it will cause there to be resentment and will hurt your marriage.

Be Clear

One way you can save feelings is by telling your partner what you want. You cannot just guess that someone knows what you are feeling. Be direct in what you say.


Take time to write down what you are feeling and if you are holding grudges. If you have a relationship that feels resentful, find out why you feel that way.

Why Forgive?

After you write down why you are resentful, write down why you should forgive your partner. It is helpful to write things down and know what you can do to move forward.

Other People

Do not bring other people into your life when you are fighting. Leave this between you and your partner and don’t talk about it with your family or friends.

Be Compassionate

Even if you are hurting, try to be compassionate with your partner. When you are resentful, this can cause your relationship to be stressful. Even so, try to be kind.

Focus on Their Good

Your partner has good qualities because that is why you fell for them in the first place. Do not assume that you know everything and work harder to get to know new things.

Talk to Someone

Find a counselor to talk to that can help you through your problems. Doing this can be helpful and this can help you to see your differences and to save your marriage.

Can Being Resentful Hurt Your Marriage?

Some people often wonder if being resentful will hurt their marriage. The truth is this is one thing that can destroy your marriage completely.

You don’t want your relationship to end because of hurt feelings or resentment and not is the time to fix it rather than later.

The sooner you look at your feelings and you work through things, the better chance you have to save your marriage and to be happy in your future.

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