Being in the perfect relationship means that you are able to treat both people in the relationship as equal, but the problem is, that doesn’t always happen.
There are some relationships where it becomes unequal and one person in the relationship will treat the other person like they are a child. This is an unhealthy relationship and shows that one person is being controlling.
This can cause more problems because when one partner wants to make a decision about their life, it might not benefit the other person and it is important that they both stand on equal ground.
Like a Child
Sometimes people do not do a good job of communicating and when you allow someone to treat you a certain way, you are telling them that it is okay for them to behave in that way.
In a healthy and happy relationship, there should be positivity and there should be ways that the problems in the situation can be solved.
When you do not put up boundaries in your communication then you are allowing someone to treat you the way that they want.
If your partners behavior is unacceptable and you are not wanting to put up with them then you have to learn to walk away or stop the situation.
When your partner treats you like a child and you let them, you are showing them that you have no boundaries and it is okay no matter how they treat you.
This kind of behavior might happen for a while before you realize it is going on and then when you notice it, it is best for you to handle it right away. If that person says they love you, you have to solve this before it is too late.
Most of the time people are acting this way because of their own self-interest. Here are some things you can do to stop this:
Boundaries
Put up boundaries in your relationship. Talk to your partner and make sure that you work on who you are. Do not be passive and as long as the relationship is not abusive, you can be strong enough for your partner to change the way they look at you.
They will most likely agree with what you are saying, and you can figure out a way for the relationship to become equal such as making equal decisions or figuring out what you both want to do.
Abusive Relationship
If the relationship is abusive, there needs to be other things done. If your partner is being violent or verbal abuse towards you, this is a different thing. Some people will be extreme in their controlling and you need to make sure you are not in that kind of relationship.
Being equal with your partner should not be met with anger and if this happens, you need to find someone that you can talk to such as a counselor or a therapist. Make sure that you are working through the situation in a positive way and that you are safe.
Someone that is abusive might increase their controlling behavior if they think you are trying to make them stop.
Safe
You need to make sure that you are becoming more responsible, as long as it is safe for you. Learn to support your partner and make sure that they support you.
You should not have to always call out your boundaries and your partner should be respecting and careful about what boundaries they cross.
Stronger Approach
If you are not able to set boundaries and keep your partner in line, then you might need to move on in your life.
If the person is not mature or doesn’t understand your feelings, then chances are you are in an unhealthy relationship anyways.
Relationships need time to grow and improve and there has to be these things to have a strong and healthy relationship.
Problem
Remember, you are not the problem. The problem is the situation and it is something that you both need to work on to safe the relationship.
If your partner is controlling but not abusive, you have to remind them of the boundaries and let them get used to this in your relationship. Here are some things you need to set boundaries on:
- Your own money.
- Being told how to do chores.
- Needing permission to do things.
Lines
It might be hard at first for your partner to get used to following these new lines. Do not be with someone that continues to resist this but make sure that he accepts your boundaries.
Break Up
You might need to leave your partner if they choose to not be understanding. Life is not a fairytale and if your partner keeps making selfish decisions then you need to move forward and find a new relationship.
When someone loves you, they will change and do things that you want so that they can grow stronger with you.
Having boundaries means that you need to be strong so the relationship can be healthy.
Do not be completely dependent on your partner and learn to have freedoms that work for you. Save some money and make new friends in case things do not work out.
If you find that your partner is becoming abusive, move on and find some help before it is too late.