Getting a soul mate is never easy

The more people you cross paths with, the better your chances are of finding someone suitable to marry.

This sounds very easy from those who are already married. It is not. Since if it were, we wouldn’t have single people all over but a lot of people trying to get partners.

Thorndike law of effect clearly states that a behavior followed by great consequences is most likely to be repeated, and vice versa. If a person states they hate dating or a nervous about marriage, they just have had some nasty experiences about these aspects.

These nasty experiences cause a lot of damage to one’s esteem. People lose confidence and go ahead to believe that something is definitely not right with them. They find it very difficult to recover.

This doesn’t rule out the fact that someone still needs a soulmate or a wife. The only issue is that every method on the books doesn’t seem to work for them. Asking them to keep on trying the things that haven’t worked out for them may be practical, but she probably won’t do it.

People get married and pray that their relationship is one of the most perfect, though most of these relationships end up in separation. What’s the secret?. Does it mean that people who remain married know how to choose partners? Maybe yes, but sometimes they just get lucky. Maybe they just got lucky to pick someone they can tolerate each other, and the positives outdo the negatives.

If you’ve had bad experiences with marriages or courting, can they have accurate ideas about their future? Should you fear lifts just because one time there was a failure while you were in it? It doesn’t mean that all lifts are bad.

Dating is not easy. We have introverts, anxious and people who just can’t handle rejection. They may not like hanging out with strangers. They also think dating consumes a lot of time. When your career is really demanding or you’ve got kids, hanging out with potential matches every time might not be easy.

You also need to know at what point to start choosing a partner, after going out with a lot of potentials. Don’t just do it to summarize the dating process.

Dr. Neumann further says that there are some people who are not after marriage. They just want to maintain the fake life of showing the need to be married.

I’m not sure whether this fiction of marriage is to please relatives who wish for the individual to get married or just for one’s own ego. People maintain these fictions to avoid some situations.

People in relationships may not realize how reinforcing singlehood can be. They make financial decisions on their own, go home when they feel like and have a great personal space. Letting go of this freedom is never easy.

In this world, most people are couples. So either you’re trying to get hitched or you’re damned to give up being single. Most people are afraid of loneliness.

Online dating sites may act as a barrier for some people. There is an article on glamour Magazine stating why you should stop googling your dates. Samantha Henig, the author, argues that the information we get online about potential dates comes with a lot of discrepancies.

Online dating may lead to an actual meet over coffee, but you can disqualify someone based on very negligible facts. You only determine if you rhyme after a meeting.

Instead of asking singles to try harder, we should try harder to assist them. Don’t ask them to stop being choosy or create more effort.  Instead, appreciate the benefits of being single and understand it may not be easy to let go. Assist them in building their esteem and never forget to mention to them how good they are at facing life challenges.

Acknowledge that they may also want to visit new locations and meet new people, but are not ready to do it alone or cannot afford someone to take care of their baby. You can offer to look after their kids. If there is anything holding them back you can help them through it. When they are ready to let themselves out there, show some willingness to listen to them.

If they have painful past experiences with dating, help them understand that it may not be the dating itself but maybe some aspects of it that are bad. If they don’t like online dating, have they tried other types? Or at least different sites? Mostly the paid sites are usually better than the free ones since people are more serious there. Maybe they could also attend singles events where people meet and socialize. Not to forget speed dating or blind dating.

Or those who keep away from dating due to a bad experience in previous marriages, let them know that they not just jumping into another marriage with the people they date. It’s possible to take the time to get to know their dates better. If the singles opt to wait on marriage for some time or decide fully that it is not their thing, it’s still okay. But if they are stuck totally, they may need to try new approaches that may work for them.

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