Conquer Your Love Gremlins Today

There are many reasons why we can begin to doubt our self-worth when it comes to finding and holding onto love.  It can be very tricky to work past, but all the hard work will be worth it for you to find your ideal mate.

Relationship anxiety can come on suddenly from a variety of pathways.  When left uncheck it can cause real damage to your psyche.  A recent APA poll discovered roughly 48% of respondents had some degree of anxiety when it came to interpersonal relationships.  So, take some dark comfort that you aren’t alone in this concern!  Relationship anxiety specifically relates to tension one faces when facing a romantic dalliance.  This can make it hard to put one’s self out there and question your value.  Likewise, this anxiety can permeate into more established romances causing you to doubt your partner’s feelings or loyalty.  If this sounds relatable to you, read on for some help tips to overcoming self-doubt and relationships anxiety.

  1. Love is not deserved: Hollywood tries to paint a narrative that “everyone deserves love” or a romance is “earned.”  Love and companionship are just as essential to life as food and water.  It is a resource that we much cultivate and treat mindfully.  It is something that we must grow and tend to with regularity.  When you get caught up in the concept of being “deserving” or “undeserving” of love, your self-worth comes into question.  You may wonder “If I deserve love, why can’t have a successful relationship?”  Keep in mind the hard work necessary to make a romance successful.  Retiring the train of thinking of being deserving, can help you more comfortable dip your toe more regularly into the dating pool.
  2. Love has no timeline: People find love in their teens, but also their golden years.  If you pressure yourself to find love prior to a set age, you may enter into an unhealthy relationship to avoid “failing.”  This includes entering into relationships that you aren’t ready for or overlooking glaring red flags.  It pays to not race into something for the sake of being with someone.  When you find love put in the hard work to nurture it and give it space to grow.  Love doesn’t thrive in a pressure-filled environment.
  3. Sparks are overrated: When you meet the love of your life you might not have that Hollywood-created spark.  Sometimes it takes time to find each other’s groove.  Successful love is built on more than one phenomenal first meeting.  It’s rooted in shared experience and steadfast trust.  Let yourself to relax on that next date, and enjoy the ride.
  4. Treasure the simple moments: It’s a myth that love can fade over time, or established romances are any less thrilling.  No relationship will ever be 100% perfect, all the time.  You both will have ebbs and flows, just like any connection.  If your lover is feeling more like your friend right now, that’s ok!  Try to focus on the small things that bring you joy in the relationships.  Let those personal smiles give you reassurance and peace.  Love can look boring or messy at times, but that isn’t a bad thing.  Trust in your ability to feel happy, safe, and supported by your partner and you find your upswing soon enough.
  5. Love yourself first: Consider one of the reasons you are having doubts in love is because you have a complicated relationship with yourself.  Self-love is essential to any healthy romance.  Just like any relationship, the connection with yourself require patience and space for growth.  If you are struggling with self-love, it is advisable to talk with a trained therapist.  They can help you address the roots of your doubts and build back confidence.  Make space in your day to pursue your passions and social connections to help you better embrace your inner power.  When you take care of your mental and physical health first, the rest will naturally follow.

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