How to Recognize Getting Played

No on one wants to feel like they are being taken advantage of by someone.  The dating game is already hard enough, but then when you worry about encountering a player, the stress goes up to a whole new level!  So how can you recognize the signs you are about to get played before your experience heartache?

There are three main tells that a person is not pursuing you, but about to use you:

  1. They make you promises from day one!

Players will tell you things that seem too good to be true.  This is because they essentially have a script ready and waiting to bring your guard down fast.  Your dating profile offers plenty of clues of what matters to you and things you are seeking to cultivate in your life.  A player will comb through the profile to tailor his words to best resonate with you.  If you have pictures of you in India, they will mention their passion for yoga and how their inner child was healed through spiritual enlightenment.  If you mention your passion for food, they’ll promise to cook you a romantic candlelit dinner you’ll never forget.

A person looking to pursue you will focus on shared experience and seek to foster commonality.  They will ask for your input in planning future dates so you can enjoy your time together even more and gain greater insights into what makes each tick.

  1. They aren’t interested in getting to know the “real you.”

A player wants to “hit it and quit it.”  They want you to be sexy and “on” every time you are together.  They will use your emotions to get you into the bedroom and keep any serious talk to a minimum.

A pursuer relishes the opportunity to get to you the totality of you.  This includes the good, the bad and the quirky bits of what makes you so remarkable.  Pursuers are focused on the quality of the time together and treat sex as a bonus since they view true intimacy as transcending physicality.

  1. Communication is only strong in the beginning of the affair

A player loses interest in being in contact with you once they attain their sexual or monetary goal with you.  They are focus on the chase and not sustaining anything lasting.  Sometimes the player won’t even need to sleep with you or have you turn over assets to them for them to cut and run.  They may actually achieve their rush by gaining the validation that at any time they could have attain this goal and that you would do willingly and eagerly.  Once a player achieves their goal they will begin to pull away and disappear to focus their attention onto their next target.

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