Love is tricky and often confusing. It can be a beautiful emotions or a horrible reality that you are alone. When thinking of love you may first have that warm, happy feeling of the perfect romance, but at times, it can be pain from loving someone you cannot be with that is prominent. Sadly, being in love does not always include a happy ending. There are many reasons that you may end up in love with someone, yet cannot be with them. Perhaps they are moving away and long distance is not an option or you love someone who is already in a monogamous relationship. Maybe you just aren’t a great match or they do not love you back. So, what do you do in these situations? Below are some steps to take.
If at all possible, stop communication with the person right away when you realize they are not an option. This is not always easy. Some people are willing to settle for someone who does not love them back because of the security in a relationship, but this is not love. Having continued contact makes it harder to get over someone, so step away and open yourself to something much better.
Accept the Harsh Realities
While you need to stop contact, know you cannot instantly turn off feelings. The more you try to push those feelings away, the stronger they can pull on you. Do not try to force closure, but give the wound time to really heal. Feel the love without acting on it. Talk to friends, family, or even a therapist to get the feelings out so they lose their power.
Strengthen Other Life Areas
Moving on will likely be tough. So, instead of focusing on the loss, find fulfillment in other areas of life. This is not a substitute for the person, but for the absence you feel. Find a hobby, volunteer, spend time with friends and family, or whatever works to help you move forward. Make sure you get out of the house and have some fun so your mind is not preoccupied with a love that cannot be. This is not about dating or sleeping around, but filling your life so much that love is not the most important thing in the moment. This allows you to move forward without obsessing.
Hold Off on Swiping Right
Though tempting, try to avoid searching for the next perfect match right away. Work on your inner self to make you feel secure and fulfilled. As you become more comfortable with yourself and what you bring to the table, it will be easier to meet someone new that is available for a relationship.