Using Tantra to Reinvigorate Your Sex Life

Tantric sex is an act of extreme intimacy.  It reinforces a couple’s bond creating stronger and more profound connections.  The practice helps each partner feel empowered and in touch with their sexuality.  In addition to bring a couple together, tantra helps a person release toxic energy that blocks union with another and with the Divine.

To implement Tantra in your relationship, view the practice through the lens of KISS:

K(inetic) – Tantra encourages us to embrace the energetic motion of the body.  Observe how certain motions feel for your body and how it helps you and your partner feel sexually charged.

I(ntimacy) -Getting in touch with how the energy feels to your individual bodies can help each partner feel closer to each other and to the Universe.  Using mindfulness during sex opens up each other’s heart chakras and an increase of love energy flow between partners.

S(low) – Keeping a slow pace during foreplay and intercourse, each partner is able to be more mindful during the act to their personal feelings as well as that of their partner.

(S)ensuality – Experience each of your feelings and external sensations to be more fully in tune with what bring you pleasure and you can better receive how your partner experience their feelings and senses.

To cultivate Tantra in your lives, take the following steps:

  • Don’t Judge!

Try to get outside your head with how something might look or if our skills are “good enough.”  Instead be present with your spirit and body.  Instead try to focus on exploring each other and having fun.

  • Breathe in Tandem

Called Bliss Breath, this technique helps partners feel closer.  Breath by lightly constricting the back of your throat and take a long, slow, deep inhale through your nose.  Hold, then slowly release the exhale back through the nose.  Let the breath mimic the pace of your physical rhythm.  When people sync their breath with their body, they can enter a trance-like state.

  • Maintain Eye Contact

Eye contact helps you communicate without saying a word.  Although it might feel awkward at the beginning, it will ultimately help create greater intimacy for you and your partner.  Having your eyes closed makes a person focused solely on their experience.  Compare that to the union building open eye experience that forces both parties to be truly honesty and vulnerable.  Feel free to giggle through the uncomfortable moments and enjoy watching the subtle changes as you both experience more pleasure.  Also, pay attention to the clues your partner’s eyes give to physical sensations or more areas to explore during your lovemaking.

  • Use Light Caresses

The skin is an extremely sensitive organ and can provide immense pleasure.  Play with pressure or the ways you touch each other.  Running your fingernails along the spine will feel differently than trailing a feather on the neck.  Use touch to build anticipation and heighten arousal.  This approach will increase dopamine for you both and reinforce an exchange of love energy that radiates from your heart chakras to reinforce your spiritual bond.

  • Try Yab-yum position

Yab-yum is a Tibetan term which describe the union of a “father-mother.”  Two figures are entwined in a seated position with the female straddling the male, with her legs wrapped around him. You can try this or sit cross legged across from each other, gazing deeply into each other’s eyes.  Bring your breaths in unison with each other and notice how sensations within you shift.  As you get more comfortable bring your bodies closer together, merge chests, hearts and then genitals.  This will increase levels of oxytocin, or the love drug, for you both and allow you both to more fully surrender to the pleasures of the encounter.  Begin by trying the position for five minutes and ultimately try to work yourselves up to holding the position for 10-15 minutes.

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